Through my eyes
by Olympya
Summary: Beverly's POV.


I pick up my glass of wine from the table and raise it to my lips –

"Go on Bev, take a picture of us boys?" asks Walker.

"Boys? More like old men! And don't call me Bev."

As I pick up the camera, I wonder why I've allowed myself to be dragged along on this 'boy's night out...' For the first time in months, Walker, Jean–Luc and Jack all had their feet planted on Earth at the same time. This, Walker declared, was the very definition of the need for a 'good old fashioned knees up.' I had no idea what that meant, but as I look before me now, I am fairly certain it was a rather exuberant term for the ridiculous amounts of alcohol being consumed, compounded by what could only be described as an unimaginable level of rowdiness.

I had barely set foot in my home, when I heard their boisterous voices approaching the door on the verge of closing. I contemplated letting it shut, keeping them out of my home – it had been a long day – but I knew I wouldn't. Their raised voices gave away their already inebriated state and I wouldn't have put it past Walker to shout to me at the top of his voice, despite the fact that Jack could easily get in if he wanted.

Now, with the camera in hand, I know why I'd allowed myself to join them. They are my family. Rowdy, completely intoxicated buffoons, but definitely family. They aren't even looking at the camera: too busy fooling around with each other. I think about clearing my throat, as ineffective as it will be, drowned by their childish antics and the music in the background. As if reading my mind, all three of them come to a standstill and turn towards me. Without realising, I find my right eyebrow raised and my left foot tapping. When did I become so impatient?

Each of them looks at me suitably chastised and with little guffawing, Walker arranges them into a semblance of order. Not an easy feat. Jack is rather worse for wear and Jean-Luc is unsteady on his feet. Walker himself is not in the best state. I watch them with a smile on my face, my impatience quickly dissolving as Walker manhandles them into position and then inserts himself between them, arms around their shoulders. Holding himself up. Or rather, holding them up. It's not entirely clear.

I raise the camera to allow me to see the picture screen. They look so comfortable and at ease with one another, and for a moment, I allow myself to look at them as I've never looked at them before. My gaze falls upon Walker first – his lop-sided grin a telling sign that he's been heavily indulgent tonight. I smile as I look upon the face that has brought such familiarity to my life. Stability. Family. Without him, would I have met Jack? Jean–Luc? Would I be this content? This happy?

My gaze inevitably drifts to Jack. My heart races. I look into his eyes and my stomach reacts. It's a feeling I can't even describe. It flips. It stirs with warmth. He winks at me and the flush leaves my stomach and travels down my body ending warmly between my legs. It...It's lust. But, somehow, it's grown into more than that. I think of his kindness and compassion, how affectionate and loving he is; how my stomach flips and melts when I see him and I realise: it's the beginnings of love.

Before I press the button, I'm inexplicably drawn to Jean–Luc. Jean–Luc. It's quite odd to see him so at ease. Of course, if he were to be at ease around anyone, it would certainly be Walker and Jack, but the addition of alcohol has transformed him and he is in fact quite merry. The evidence of which lies upon his face in a huge grin. Quite the transformation from starship captain now. That stoic mask replaced by an expression of contentment and joy to just be Jean–Luc Picard. I raise my eyes from the camera screen and find myself staring into his. His grin subsides and the lines around his eyes soften, then my heart stops. The world stops turning and all I see is him.

"Bev!"

Jack's voice penetrates my senses, I blink and the connection is broken. I look back at Jean-Luc and I see that the grin has returned to his face. Maybe I imagined it. Glancing quickly at the screen, I press the button and take the long awaited picture. Jack and Walker approach me and Walker grabs the camera out of my grasp.

"Not bad Bev. If this medicine thing doesn't work out for you, you might have a decent future in photography," Walker walks back towards Jean–Luc and their waiting drinks.

Jack's arm slips around my shoulder and that warm feeling swirls in my stomach again as he pulls me in for a kiss. All thoughts of Jean–Luc escape my head as warmth takes over me.

"- Beverly?"

"Yes?" I ask, jolting slightly as I feel a hand upon my arm. My forgotten wine sloshes against the sides of its glass.

"Are you all right? You've been looking at that for rather a long time."

I cast my eyes down once more to look at the holo-photo and am greeted once more with the three of them.

"Oh yes Jean–Luc, I was just remembering."

Memories wash over me once more.

"That was a rather 'extravagant' night, if I recall."

I raise my eyes then and find myself staring right into his. The light that shines within them and his grin tell me he remembers. His grin that other people rarely experience. My heart skips.

I wonder if I'll ever have the courage to tell him.


End file.
